Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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