you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
