so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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