babies were throwing up all over the place
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
what day is it and did you see me today?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
