I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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