everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize