that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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