she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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