I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Alive.
So much puke
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
