i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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