I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
