You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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