Sry I called you an 8
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
