I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
