Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
