He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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