5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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