can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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