went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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