he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
