I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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