and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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