yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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