Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
