I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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