My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
