I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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