i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We have so much sex to catch up on
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
