addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
