It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
