so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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