What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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