Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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