people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Too much gin, very little bucket
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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