Walk of Shame. In a state park.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
