i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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