I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
