Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
