it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
