Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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