Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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