The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
