You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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