What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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