Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
