I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
