Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You left your phone here
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