We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
