I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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