Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
