I think my vagina is haunted
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
