My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize