like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
