Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
