Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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