Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
