remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Liz is crying about burritos again.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
