well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
