I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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