wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize