i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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