i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
