I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
