also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
that is very illegal...i love you.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
