help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
