I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
