Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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